Malaise (mäah-laiiiys): feeling like you’ve been kicked by a herd of steroid enhanced donkeys with intermittent explosive disorder while 16 sumo wrestlers are doing a Jane Fonda step class on your shoulders and neck—strike that—all over your corporeal and mental wellbeing if you remember what wellbeing even is anymore. Meanwhile your bowels functioning has gone into witness protection, you can’t tell if you live in Pluto or the 7th circle of Dante’s inferno, and if you will ever get off this tilt-a-whirl of a spinning meteor past G-force speeds into oblivion

Synonyms: OW, WTF, noooooooo, FML, howboutnot,

glare-intensifies, &%#$!!!!! Antonyms: 🙂

Use in a sentence: “I WILL MALAISE YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE” .