BREAKING NEWS:

TRUMP BEAR HUGS PUTIN, SAYING QUOTE
“CONGRATS ON MY BIGLY ELECTORAL COLLEGE WIN, PUT PUT O’BUDDY OF TRUMPY, YOU SHOULD SEE THIS GUY’S GOLF SWING! SWINGING YUUUGE… HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN JARED? GOOD GUY THIS GUY. AND TO THINK I NEVER MET HIM BEFORE, I DON’T SPEAK BORSCHT.